Before I start, I have to tell you that I took this picture of “Pinkie Pie” the pony when I was recently in Melbourne and I kid you not I was literally lying in the middle of the street to get this shot!!! I had people staring and laughing at the crazy town girl with her pink My Little Pony!!! And I even had a couple people come up to me asking me verrrry calmly with both sympathy and empathy, “Ummm are you okay? Can I help you in any way?” What they were actually thinking- “Ummm can I help you into a nutter home!!!!” hahahaha
Ahhhhh life has this stunning and agonising way of presenting this little thing called ‘comparison’.
And ohhhhh how easy it is to fall prey to it’s trap. But man it is an absolute life choker…the discouragement of comparison.
Social media is incredible in SO many ways. But if I’m honest it’s often hard to scroll through the countless photos of couples, engagements, weddings , perfect happy families, youth with bright futures, success… Sometimes it’s too much to bare and I silently turn my phone screen over and drown myself in tears.
Of course I wholeheartedly cheer and shout (yes extremely and obnoxiously loud!!) the victories and celebrations with those I love!! I even celebrate the pretty pictures of those I don’t know!! But sometimes the ache of what I myself don’t have or what I desire tugs too hard and it’s just all too much.
It’s such a delicate dance between being content with where I am at – being secure in JUST this moment. Completely happy and alive in the present. For me it’s also about being secure in the relationship I have with my Creator. Secure in Him only. It’s super hard though, I am not gonna lie to you.
And yet, it’s also about having the courage and bravery and what feels at times like plain stupidity, to hope, trust and BELIEVE for more.
There is a verse in a book in the Bible called Jude that says, “I build myself up in my most holy faith”. Umm yeah sure, Jude- thanks for that- its Frikkin hard bro!!!!
My faith doesn’t seem holy most of the time…it seems like mustered up frustration and discouragement and well… caca!!!! 🙂
Nonetheless, lately I have been heard muttering to myself under my breath “building myself up…building myself up…” Another stunner of a bride and her beyond gorgeous man gazing lovingly into her eyes on insta…”building myself up”… one of my loved up besties planning a holiday away together…”building myself up”…the perfect lil family photo after photo after photo after photo on Fb;) dinner out with all the couples and yup just me! Fifth wheeling baby, fifth wheeling!!! ha! “building myself up”…amaze music collaboration and opportunity…”buuuuilding myyyyyself uuup”… Jlo’s abs and ass…”building myself up”
haha!! Picture of my Lenny with another woman WHAT THE!!??? “building myself up and gettin my boxing gloves out!!! Girl better watch herself!!! 😉
Remember how as a kid you had to learn not to get jealous of Kaleena’s lunch cause her mom let her have all the yummy stuff that your mom didn’t buy!? Like hot dogs and pocket pies and white bread and SUGAR!!! And remember how you used to eat lunch at your house consisting of lettuce leaves and bark and carob 😉 and then you would walk over to Kaleena’s straight after and her mom would just be serving up lunch and of course offer you some!! And then because Kaleena also used to have all the cool new toys and latest My Little Ponies, you would then shove a few here and there in your pockets to take them home to your room which was sadly and UNFAIRLY void and deprived of such latest editions!?
And then remember how ya finally got caught red handed and your dad deservedly smacked your tiny lil tushie!???
Ohhh so I guess that was just me…. 🙂
Welllll… fast forward 29 years and lo and behold there are still people eating hot dogs and white bread and playing with My Little Ponies and they are posting like a bazillion pictures up for me to daily and constantly learn to be content with my stupid rye bread and fake chocolate and, and, and ummm ummm boring ‘ole sticks and rocks!!????!!!
Haha okay I actually looove Rye bread and carob and clearly I am blessed beyond words with all I have.
But the lesson remains.
Comparison destroys. Sucks the absolute joy and life outta ya and causes discouragement to spring up as an overflowing well of dark, heavy oil.
And what I absolutely HATE is the desire in us to appease ourselves by saying- ‘well they may look like they have it all together but they don’t and they are surely struggling or will have a fall or are void of true character etc because they are cushioned with such blessings!! BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! Or how many times have I heard this- “Oh they aren’t really happy deep down.” Umm YEAH they ARE actually!!
Yes it’s true we can never understand someone else’s struggles or journey no matter how it appears on the outside and yes it’s true we all have agony and pain that we have to walk through. But instead of needing to look for cracks and flaws in others to make ourselves and our situation feel better, we just need to learn to DEAL WITH our comparison and jealousy and celebrate others and celebrate their successes. Learn to be C.O.N.T.E.N.T. Listen up ReRe!!!
I want to celebrate wholeheartedly with others when they succeed and even when they themselves in their world are walking into my very dreams and deepest longings. I want to smile the hugest and laugh the loudest when others’ dreams are coming true. Not letting discouragement set in but rather all the while letting it produce in me a hope and a fierce determination that the future for me is gonna be full of promises and dreams fulfilled.
But even more than that, the present is all m.i.n.e. and it is s.t.u.n.n.i.n.g. I am grateful. I want for nothing.
There is always gonna be someone with more followers on social media.
There will always be someone more talented.
Always someone more intelligent.
Always someone with more opportunity.
Always someone with the perfect happy family life.
There will always be someone taller;)
Always be someone with a more desirable wardrobe.
Always be someone with that dream house in the Hamptons.
Always someone with that curly afro hair and bubble butt you always wanted. 😉 🙂
(Insert whatever it is that challenges you to cheer as opposed to feeling like you wanna gouge their eyeballs out!!:)
But I am reminded of this…
There is always gonna be someone who has far less than me and is walking a journey and living a life of agony and pain that I could never even possibly begin to imagine.
Awhile back in this journey when all I could see was the pain and shattered pieces surrounding me, my mama said to me, “Re, I want you to wake up every single morning and write down what you are grateful for and write down His faithfulness and abundance to you. Stop looking at what you don’t have and start looking at what you DO have.” She kicked my ass right back into gear!!! And you know what- it worked. I stopped looking at what I didn’t have and starting remembering and reminding myself of ALLLLL that I do have and I literally started to feel like the richest, most blessed, luckiest girl alive. (Thanks mama Xxxxx)
There is this scripture in Psalm 16 that says this:
“You have assigned me my portion…The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places…I will not be shaken”
Ohhhhh I want to live every second of every day reminded of this:
I’m sure that the temptation to compare will confront us till our dying breath. A delightful, painful and constant opportunity to grow and strengthen our character.
Ahhh character. A dying art.
Sooooooo…you can keep your hot dogs and your My Little Ponies.
I will look on with joy and contentment in my heart and click like on your latest pic!!!!
Cause guess what, Kaleena!!??
I got myself the latest Strawberry Shortcake doll!!!!!!!!!!
Luv you forever, Kaleena-Beena Xxxx